F*ck 9 years

Is my group of friends really my true friends? Time and again, this thought would arise. I used to believe they were. Now, it is a straight-up no. Event after event, incident after incident, I felt betrayed, I felt used. I tried to convince myself otherwise, thinking I'm just overly sensitive. The older I gets the clearer I see it. Time doesn't indicate the quality of a friendship. Effort does. Moments together seems so forced and obligated. Is there really any memories to reminisce? Is there any friendship to speak of in the first place? I thought about all these ever since the last trip we had together. What is the point of pretending everything is fine when nothing is? I've passed that.

Judging

Even though you often hear people saying 'Who are you to judge someone when you don't even know that person or their story?’ Frankly, who doesn't do that? I'm so guilty. Often, I condemn people even before giving them a chance. I’m sure going to hell for that.

It's true to a certain extent that I tend to be judgmental even before I fully know someone or understand the situation. However, as a female, I’m very confident of my intuition and my judgments are always based on hunch. It sounds kind of creepy but I do observe the person’s vibe and action before coming to a conclusion. I’m obstinate; it’s almost impossible for me to change my impression of that person. Also, pitiful plight and predicament doesn’t justify all negative courses of actions taken.

I understand that people do make mistakes. Desperate times called for desperate measures. I made foolish mistakes before and I do hope people don’t judge me for it. It’s fine when I did wrong as people made mistakes but I judge you the next moment for doing the same wrong. Sounds familiar? Humans tend to have higher level of acceptance and tolerance towards themselves and their loved ones. I can come up with a thousand and one reasons and blame on everything else to write off my wrong in an equitable way.  When it comes to someone else, I’m sorry that I can’t.

I’ve been trying to change my conceited mindset and quit judging anyone. Everyone have their own life to narrate and who am I to interfere. Not much of a progress so far but I made a promise to myself to be a better person. I’m still learning.

Opportunity never knock twice on any man's door

There are so many things to be done but I chose to bum around. I really ought to kick the habit of procrastinating.

It is normally for people to start over-thinking when they have free time?

To-do List:
1. Prepare for exam
2. Start diet and exercise plan
3. Start looking for part-time/ internship job