F*ck 9 years

Is my group of friends really my true friends? Time and again, this thought would arise. I used to believe they were. Now, it is a straight-up no. Event after event, incident after incident, I felt betrayed, I felt used. I tried to convince myself otherwise, thinking I'm just overly sensitive. The older I gets the clearer I see it. Time doesn't indicate the quality of a friendship. Effort does. Moments together seems so forced and obligated. Is there really any memories to reminisce? Is there any friendship to speak of in the first place? I thought about all these ever since the last trip we had together. What is the point of pretending everything is fine when nothing is? I've passed that.