On the process of letting go

It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do.

When I see your child like smile,

When I see your back view,

I have the urge to hug you and say baby I love you.

Frankly, I envy those who can get attached with another guy almost immediately their break up.

How they let go so easily?

Or they are just treating them as substitution?

Or am I just plain stupid?

People asking me why him?

To me he is very unique. I had never meet any guy like him before. He is knowledgeable yet ignorant. He is mature yet he behaves like a child. He is complicated yet naive. He is smart yet stupid. He is daring yet scared. Yes, that is what I love about him. Contradicting! That's why ended up breaking because he love me yet he doesn't. Stupid uh!

I hate myself for being like that.

Xylia can you just stop being so irritating!

Where is the old you?

The one who always know how to deal with your feelings?

Fuck man!

I can't let go because I love too deeply.

Even if I managed to let go, it had already engraved in my heart.

Memories will always be there till the day I die, it is unforgettable.

After all, a lesson learned.